Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't shave. On purpose
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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