Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
