You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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