So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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