FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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