I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
