Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
