And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
