we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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