so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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