It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
