my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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