we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
