I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize