its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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