Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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