I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
