problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize