I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
