I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
