Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize