some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
