Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize