She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
