i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
