I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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