Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
