My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
