"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
