Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
