Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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