My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
