This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
