my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
