maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
whose parrot is this?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
