is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
