Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize