Swine flu. Run for my life!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
