Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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