Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
