the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
