It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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