I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
