and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
