I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
