my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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