Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
