I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
