yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
