I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
