I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
