yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
