his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
