Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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