i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
