we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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