I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
