She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
