Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drunk is not a location!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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