tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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