Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
