I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
