Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
