Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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