I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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