In the future we'll all be gay
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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