Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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