I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
