There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
