ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
