why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
