So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
