You can't motorboat a personality
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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