So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
