The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
