white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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